I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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