Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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