Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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