That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
