Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
this boner is exhausting
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
