Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
