So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
id be glad to
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
