I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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