is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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