Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
