So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
