She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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