She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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