if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
