oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
