is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
