if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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