those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
