Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
now i know why i became what i already was.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
