I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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