I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
