pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
