I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
