I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
