It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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