So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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