I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
