I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
