last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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