her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
