Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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