is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
