i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
