ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
