Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
