4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize