I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
