I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize