PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
