i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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