Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
