Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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