Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
