Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
