the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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