I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
