OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
