I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
