I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
