But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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