He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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