im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
