fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
