I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
