I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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