Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
