I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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