Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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