this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
