Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
